Right time to exit of A RELATIONSHIP
There are way too many things draining you in life.
Believe it or not, the sun drains the youth out of you.
Your peers are draining your will to up your career graph – no matter how hard you work, there will always be a slimy co-worker who’ll take double your pay-check and get the job done in half the time and probably not even work for it!
Your parents are draining your motivation to please them, because Sharamji ka IITian beta has a 2crore package and you are struggling to make ends meet with your barely there five figure income.
Alcohol/Weed is draining you, where it fills you up for a little and leaves you lifeless in the morning, or probably through day if drinking all day is your kind of thing.
Now tell us, where is there space to fit in a relationship that is draining you. Ohh, we touched a taboo subject here because many are aware of their relationship draining the life out of them but nobody wants to talk about it – log kya kehenge?
Imagine this: 5 years, been making love with the same girl over and over and that’s probably the only good thing keeping the relationship together by a string. Her constant bickering makes you want to pull your hair out. You know that she waits for you to fall asleep before she pulls her phone out and feverishly chats with her cushions.
One excuse follows another on how she can’t see you tonight despite you having planned this in advance, because she’s not well but not unwell enough to fire up a conversation with her Instagram followers at 3:00am. She wishes you good morning and naively goes to work thinking you’re thinking she’s actually working. But you know. You can see she’s active on Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, WeChat, Hike…all at once. Even Twitter.
So you finally muster the courage to confront her and put an end to this. There is drama. Fights. Out comes the endless list of everything she’s ever done for you, from buying you a pack of cigarettes to ordering food for you when you were sick. She tells you how much she loves you. Only you. You ask her about all the men she’s been talking to secretly and she denies it without batting an eyelid. Suddenly the one time you were flirting with a girl at a bar after the first of your 10,000 break ups is brought up.
You know it’s irrelevant. Logically, you two were on a break and she was having her fair share of fun. But somehow because she’s yelling and crying, her argument seems to make sense. “Maybe she’s right. Maybe you did wrong her. Perhaps this is karma. You have to pay for what you did was wrong.” ETC. You’re justifying her arguments as they come. You relent. It’s back to square one. For the billionth time! She resumes her colourful life while you carry on living with anxiety and hurt for the days to come.
Exactly how many times can you allow this to happen to yourself?
As many times as it takes to learn your lesson! That’s the only honest advice we can offer you.
Everybody has a different gateway for drama, and some people are just naturally optimistic. Trying to find a golden lining in the worst of situations. Justifying unfair behaviour. Being overconfident in their own ability to help reform the toxic partner.
The truth, however, is dirty. The truth is that you can’t change a person. There is thunder that can stun and lightening that can sear you to the bone in a dark cloud. Justifying hurtful behaviour makes you a criminal– for committing the crime that is hurting yourself. It’s like standing in front of a moving car knowing it will run you over but hoping the drunk driver slows down and stops. The driver might or might not slow down and stop, but you put yourself at risk by standing in its way, stubbornly.
It’s not your fault, sometimes people don’t even get to know they’re in toxic relationships. They have been brought up to see the best in people and sometimes even punish themselves in order to stay grounded and reap the fruits of labour, as they say. Toiling to lead a better life. But ask yourself, is it really worth wasting away your youth hoping that something better will come out of something that has had a long standing history of only hurting you.
We are not saying run away from the first sign of hurt. Differences of opinion hurt, that doesn’t mean you should pick up your bags and leave. Persistent hurt, even after countless discussions or confrontations, however, is the biggest red flag. That’s when you should run.
Who set’s the bar for how much one should hurt before fleeing? You do. It is entirely your decision. It’s like alcohol; you decide how much you’re going to drink before you know you’ll pass out. And you know what they say, drink responsibly.
We say- relationship responsibly.
If it tastes like chicken, keep on lickin’ and if it tastes like hell, get the hell out. This is when we tell you there’s an underlying message here.
All the best.
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